What are Friends For?

My girlfriend Carol and I were very close. We were getting home late from school and we were so worried that we would get in trouble for being late that we decided to take a short cut through a junk yard. I’ll tell you right off the bat that this wasn’t my idea. Carol was tough. She was so tough you didn’t say no to anything she said for fear of getting popped in the jaw. So, I agreed and we climbed up over the chain-link fence.
We were casually strolling through the yard and had pretty much made it safely through when suddenly we heard the low growl of a monster. Carol grabbed my hand in fear which really shocked me because as I told you she was bad. I glanced over my shoulder and the mangiest dog you have ever seen was plowing down on us fast. I swear that dog was foaming at the mouth. I was sure that he knew he was about to get a nice dinner of two little lambs. The dog wasn’t more than a foot away from us when I realized we weren’t going to out-run him. Self-preservation kicked in and I grabbed Carol, turned her around with my arm locked around her neck, and used her as a barrier between me and the mutt. I dragged her kicking-and-screaming carcass backward toward the fence. With each kick, the jaws of that mangy yellow dog snapped inches from her toes. Carol didn’t know whether to hit me with her one free left arm or focus her attention on the dog. She flaled her arm behind her toward me in a vain effort to free herself. I WAS NOT letting go.
Finally, I reached the locked gate which opened enough for me to squeeze through. I dropped Carol as I backed butt first through the thin opening of the gate while the dog approached his unwilling victim’s kicking feet. I turned to run and realized that I was safe and I’d better not leave Carol for dog food. But if…I debated, if I do save her she’s going to kill me. Well my heart got the best of me and so I grabbed her by the collar and pulled her through the fence gate. Unfortunately, she lost her shoe to the dog and her pants legs were ripped to shreds but that’s the price you pay. Luckily, for me, Carol was so relieved to get out of there alive that she only hit me in the arm. 😉
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